Wa-Wa-Tusi

WA WA TUSI

...and the damn voters swallowed it!!!

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Today, the Jamacan Army commenced an invasion near Miami, Florida. When asked what they were doing there, a General said that, seeing that war had been declared on them by the U.S., they thought they had better get in first. An investigation by Whitehouse staffers has found that a) They forgot to give Rumsfeld his medication last night, and b) Rumsfeld got away from his keepers last night for about 10 minutes, and apparantly got to a telephone. Whitehouse staff have been ringing around to find out if anyone else had war declared on them. They have issued a public appeal for citizens to report any strange armies in their neighbourhood, as they only have the telephone numbers of about 25 nations, and a number of those were on answerer.

Condoleezalaazaloozabatguano Price, the girl who can't say no, announced today that she did not want to run for President, and to that end will not commence campaigning in twelve months, will not start to gather support in the party room, and will not start talking to the party number crunchers. She will not consult the elder statesmen of the party, not get her kisser on the television at every opportunity, and will not have Dickless Cheney shot. She also said she would not be consulting Michael 'the mad baby dangler' Jackson's skin specialist.

What is thy bidding, my master?

The Democratic People's Republic of Mongolia has lodged a complaint with the U.N., stating that they had been insulted by King George the Dubberyar who had not threatened them with a regime change, nor included them in the 'Axis Of Evil'. A spokesman said that they would cut off supplies of Yak butter to the U.S. until matters are rectified, as no DPR could hold it's head up in the world without being on one of George's little lists.

Sturmbannfuhrer John Howard announced today that his Neocon Government of Australia has decided to annexe Tasmania, as his lord and master King George the Dubberyar demanded it. Apparantly they want to reopen the old convict prison at Port Arthur for a little bit of rendition. When it was pointed out that Tasmania was already part of Australia, Howard seemed surprised, saying if he knew that he would have built a few Immigrant Concentration Camps there. King George told Howard that it was time the Prime Minister showed strong leadership, to which Howard replied that he doesn't do impressions. The Leader of The Opposition, Skippy The Bush Kangaroo, was not available for comment.

An unnamed U.S. politician has been arrested in Washington and charged with 'Having A Grip On Reality' and 'Understanding The Big Picture'. He has undergone rendition to Texas where he has been quietly slipped onto Death Row. He'll probably get the needle in one of those job lots they do down there.

Neocon Annual Picnic, 2005, Eye-rack

Binoculars have been outlawed in the U.S., following the discovery that some citizens were using them at the international borders, to see what was really happening in the outside world. "If the tame media is good enough for me, it's good enough for them", one official said.

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